American "Goth" Origins

I am a lost angel and from what I have gathered thus far from calling around, it costs a little more than four hundred dollars per question for the lie detector exam!

Because of this, I am hoping to be able to save money by lumping everything into one solid question:

"Have you gone through your blog post several times making sure that there are no lies or anything too exaggerated?"

YES!

I want to be completely accurate about everything as I know that I have made absolutely amazing discoveries everywhere and the life that I witness daily that is supposed to be impossible is actually happening to me... unfortunately, it may take several hours of learning or paying attention to what might seem like boring videos until catching on BUT!?

There is seriously no treasure bigger to discover?!

The knowledge found from what I share here has value far beyond that of any book... it really is so important to learn how to connect with a loved one using the timing of memories or discoveries if rummaging through anything old.. always since we lived once they will respond to you!

It is sad to know how a husband may not notice the deepest messages constantly coming from his spouse and her subconscious mind never before aware of until coming across this blog that opened his eyes thanks to the need of proving it wrong! Maybe the fear of being guilty prevented you from learning the truth? It can be difficult to actually hear the birds and acknowledge their intelligence.

I know you might want to run from what I share?

If you think that I am wrong, crazy, lying, or performing magic tricks it is the biggest sign that you have neglected what will actually prove the truth!

Fortunately, it is extremely easy to prove some of my claims in my blog posts being real such as people's souls being trapped in photos or whatever!?

The American Goth painting became much more famous after its creation due to the murder of my great grandfather Claude Meade back in July 21st 1933 when the 21st amendment passed to legalize alcohol... He was wielding a pitchfork when it happened and wore the same clothing shown and he also had a Swedish wife with a lighter look like the woman shown in the painting. He was shot in the back by a veteran at his barn while walking away with a pitchfork in hand over what was written in the paper as a horse-racing debate but with everything going on in the world during this time it spread conspiracy theories everywhere due to the conflict between Ireland and England.. the appearance of 21 matters? Yes! At least, according to our subconscious minds the number 21 could mean "going back" since 12 would be "going forward" if there are twelve points found on a clock?

I never really called myself "goth" but others tend to lump me somehow into that category which makes sense because of where I would like to go dancing... for me, I just tend to like whatever makes me feel immersed in a medieval fantasy setting but a bit scared of metal being more toxic than we notice.. still, everywhere I have gone people have been motivated to suddenly wear black or maybe get really dressed up as a woman into ballroom gowns or more feminine wear normally ignored until I was found?

It is somewhat embarrassing how much I will witness others suddenly wear black or whatever because I happen to be coming closer... but I am very thankful to know how there is a good number of women who would have never gone towards the beautiful "victorian goth" look over what used to be a sort of "tomboy" that failed to show off certain coveted looks!

The picture shown above is from a magazine made back in 1987 that shows a couple of boys the same age as my brother and I were when this was released, posing before this meaningful painting with legs crossed reminding me of the 'x' found in my older brother's name 'Alex' so it would not surprise me if there was a connection found here somewhere? My Dad purchased an orange ax the day my older brother was born and sometimes did meaningful things... it might be hard to ignore my parents completely as I know they have echoes much more than other people.

While losing my mind I had wondered if this song was about the terrible incident linking 21 to my immediate Irish American family... after all, they were an Irish band so maybe knew about things that I needed to catch up on? I was not even aware of the Irish from last century fighting a war against the English until very recently!

21 by the Cranberries

I don't think it's going to happen anymore

You took my thoughts from me, now I want nothing more

And did you think you could just take it all away

I don't think it's happening, this is what I say

Leave me alone x360 

'Cause I found it all

Twenty One x3

So I don't think it's going to happen anymore

I don't think it's going to happen anymore

Twenty One x3 Today x4 Twenty One x2 

Twenty One x2 Twenty One x2 Twenty One x8

I keep hearing, "there you are! there you are!!" instead of the number 21 when I hear the song for whatever reason... and just as she described in the song, my thoughts are constantly being stolen by others as well!

[Check out the song "21 by Thee Untitled" ✓]

Maybe she found her crown that was always wanted sew bad! That would be the origin of royalty if the tapestries are correct in what they show? The comparison that separates the royal person from a regular one being the royalty constantly faces the letter 'a' that would be empathy for whoever is being thought of? 

In other words, everyone would be in their head...?

Stealing thoughts.. this led me to find how all of the worst ideas I ever had happened West of bacteria heavy locations such as a refrigerator, cat litter box, kitchen sink, trash, or toilet pipes? Germs ride our heavier flesh as much as we allow? The planet is moving so that would mean it is more important to make sure that East is always clean where time is spent thinking due to the planet always moving so it matters.

Personally, only one moment I found in my entire memory that did not seem to have anything like a "potty thought zone" to the East of us... there was nothing but a strawberry field bringing on whole new meaning to what this song is about?

Trippy, dude.

No wait .

What is the opposite of trippy? Steady??

Steady, dude.

Steady... sorry, as that may not be the best "trip" if you just worried about accidentally sending information about the future shooting a particular beetle?

Always, whenever I come across a 'Stargate' or 'Portal to the Abyss' it is the same for me in that they are always more aware of me like a person actually here with me would be in a way that is wanting to connect as I witness how they are very capable of gathering data that was seemingly sent from this side of the monitor or phone from my brain and from their future allowing me to do what exactly!?

Who am I to the subconscious minds of those people?!

Maybe the Grim Reaper?

My last name is Meade so that makes sense... it is written online somewhere that this word would mean 'meadow' maybe?

The Adam's Family snaps four times why?

Adam's Square, of course! 

This is supposed to be saving participants of the Sixteen Scented Celebration from the deadly rectangles that await us in the future!

"You died at the age of 137 from a decision not to live anymore that was made because of losing the ninth spouse..."

I try to gather helpful data to the people in the other side as I witness that it does indeed matter! Make a difference enough that I actually start to watch television? No!... Seriously, compared to other people I actually never watch it at all.. but if I do they are maybe startled by my brain and how it has a hard time slowing down long enough to pay attention.

The Andrew Sisters have a song about Johnny who happened to be from Minnesota as well where my gramps who might be one of the better looking gents in the area when he was youthful had raised his family and as I had tried to look him up I found more lore than truth while letting memories of a reverse psychology AA class get to me regarding his missing finger that they used to try for scaring me away from alcohol which did not work...

Those ladies are so lovely! You know, John was very handsome... not sure what year he met his wife?

...maybe I am the "and drew" Grandson?

Yes, I drew... and drew a lot! As shown below:

When I came across Irish Gaelic for the first time it sounded like English spoken... 

"Come back to the teet!"

The timing of what I witness when I come across other languages actually proves to my mind that other languages responded to my living once as they will form words that sound like English in the way that would give my current thought the perfect answer!

This does not stop happening for me... it really has been helpful for coming up with certain A-Rated ideas or discovering what must be SOME of the origins my ancestors had.. definitely helpful and an effective form of gathering data about something we have no physical contact with.

This means that we are capable of finding out a lot more about an ancient civilization than we previously knew that would allow someone like me to ask what might seem like a limited amount of questions by measuring the timing of thoughts while trying not to think as coming across ancient artifacts or relics since the thoughts had would be carried from previous owners of this property their mind that was imprinted on the object may connect with ours now thanks to gravity!

Measuring the timing witnessed when coming across ancient languages was how I figured out Stonehenge and other things regarding the "ring" or ancient ways of using the pentagram for healing and trades.

Definitely a very effective tool for anyone with interest in ancient history! I wake up every day feeling even more important than before... someone much luckier than Indiana Jones as an Archaeologist?

Would I be the first Archaeologist to prove that the Archaeology is responding to the observer if I wanted to be? This means that it is very important for us to do things such as come up with questions to ask the most ancient civilizations that I come across briefly whether it be a picture found online or maybe something much more?

The work shown above was done with a pencil so it looked MUCH better when it was finished compared to what is shown here that is a very smeared almost ruined picture that is no longer fresh...

My Father Jon was named after his Father also named John but with an "h" . .. I wondered if this was supposed to remind me of the horses our family lost after his Father's murder long ago?

I used to hear about Big John occasionally while growing up from my parents who would tell me that he spent fourteen years in prison after committing armed robbery and they likely exaggerated how evil or mean he was to scare me?

My boss may have secretly led the reverse psychology AA meeting to scare me with neighbors, police, and coworkers starting sometime when I bought some weed from my best friend that I worked with. An engineer from work took me to an AA class and some scary looking mafia guy in a Hawaiian shirt came and sat down to lead the meeting. When they took turns calling themselves an alcohol he added that he was also drunk right now but he was here to help us get clean and we were asked to take turns telling him that we were sure we wanted his help in getting us clean. Not very scary until I took a sip of the coffee that seemed to have coke in it or something illegal but once it was mentioned someone brought up the word "cat poo coffee" as if they thought of everything? No one else in the meeting bothered to pour themselves a cup. Afterwards whenever I would buy a drink or smoke they would have me select a color somehow that would be carried to maybe a black guy with a missing limb after hearing what sounded like a saw and someone screaming? During this they kept having me do things that would force me to choose a finger too while everyone seemed to know who I was as if I were famous? All sorts of strangers would seemingly follow me around and sometimes say things like not to be 'evil grandfather's as if they knew who he was? 

My girlfriend at the time was in on it and must have sucked a kiss on my forehead one night because I woke up with a hickey very visible when looking in the mirror. My aunt gave me a call and told me that my grandfather used to get the same kind of Mark around the time he would go crazy and think that planes passing overhead had to do with him. During the speakeasy days regarding three kisses that cuts off a customer the final blow might be the forehead following the cheeks? It would not surprise me at all if my grandmother tried to do something similar like suck a kiss with the help of others to get him to stop drinking? That day I looked up something very weird online about people appearing everywhere with that mark who were super soldiers? I was told about hereditary coproporphyria for the first time that I inherited from my Gramps who had purple urine and looked into some pretty weird possibilities regarding reoccurring pains I have always suffered possibly due to this disease that would be being born with a slightly different liver that creates more porphyrins than heme compared to other people leaving me feeling perhaps somewhat electric or naked.

The television show 'Honeymooners' was what my Dad's family would watch while he was growing up... that would be where the name  'Alice Bluebonnet' would come from in my mind as they would be shown to laugh something off rather than hit a spouse.. hopefully it worked but I heard a thing or two about John's awful temper and actually punching the closest people to him when he was drinking.

The two youngest sisters grew up to be just as pretty as the oldest so he had the job of being their protector.

I have a grandma Babe on one side and a grandma Ruth on the other... no connection to baseball, of course.. but a fun fact I learned about when these unusual people kept following me to the store  insisting I should know about how a candy bar was selected to replace a vibrator for one of them?

For some time back in 2012, everywhere that I went people would wear certain license plates or stickers for what only my eyes would understand... they would be showing me how easily I could be completely messed up if they decided or maybe the opposite!?

Sometimes people would hide their face and look ridiculous as if willing to walk backwards just to make sure I couldn't remember him or her? Maybe a dozen at once all doing this?? In Idaho around the time Barack Obama was elected so local militia had fun waking people up to be prepared for a fight? It was hard to know where to draw the line because of the reverse psychology AA meeting or whatever?!

Anyways, this happened to me right after I found out about my grandfather and porphyria but at the same time I woke up to how music was almost always about what was going on with me by some real miracle and I was seemingly famous everywhere I went!?

While trying to find a trace of my grandfather online I found a YouTube video introducing St. Paul, Minnesota where my Dad grew up as a hideout for some of Al Capone's thugs who paid off the police for somewhere to clean up but nothing really mentioning John Meade... that name thought rings a bell in my memory banks.. and he robbed one with a gun?

His look reminds me of the cheesy old gangster movie watched by the kid who was seen in Home Alone? "Hey Johnny! You got the stuff, Johnny?"

It is very comical how the English language seems to respond to my existing once enough for words flipped backwards to actually matter as they actually will sound like completely different words normally said that always have to do seemingly with whatever the song is about I happen to be working on?!

Fun to note about this particular song is that when the English words, "where is the finger?" are flipped backwards they become, "your myth is real!"

My Mom once told me that Grandpa lost his finger in prison for theft... another told me that he lost it AFTER he did time as if that mattered?

Does it matter WHICH finger it was?!

Then recently, I finally found the truth in that he actually lost it from a railroad accident while happily married with children!

Once I found this out I could almost hear the laughter coming from Ozzy... the part of him that would know my Dad in the way that I never knew!?

Babe Ruth was known for being the grand slammer that pointed confidently where the ball would go before the pitch was thrown into what slugged a home run sending the ball very well into the expected zone...

When I was a child with pink as my favorite color, one of the very first cartoons that I remember watching outside of Prince Adam in HeMan was the Real Ghostbusters and an episode that we had recorded had Al Capone in it.. this was partially how I had come up with my ridiculous 'fictional' story that became a song found in "Thee Ring, Volume ii" . ..

It is guaranteed that certain mathematical patterns are found when timing is measured as the environment is compared to the mind allowing me to do things such as confidently make videos of myself asking for various things from the people like a certain color found in a specific location more than anywhere else in the next thing that I come across that proves others may somehow be able to obey my requests known only by what I thought or shared! I will do my best not to think as I come across everything in a state of meditation as every thought is measured while usually they will come from discovering what others share allowing every person to guide my mind thanks to the ways in which I give them control as I come across what was left behind. 

As long as timing is measured whenever an object from a human being is discovered the thoughts that enter the brain of the observer come from perhaps another person in the past who left it behind by some margin as their subconscious mind becomes grateful to be able to command someone.

If a person comes up with rules in the brain for obeying the requests of another person's subconscious mind he or she may witness someone truly thankful that he or she was never truly neglected completely. Since no one else does this for people you might be surprised how much others actually want this! This means that almost every person has a hidden desire to control a stranger of the opposite sex so when a bridge is made a person will be thankful to have a gift that would otherwise not be found. 

My mind has really been able to see so much more in every photograph taken by another that I come across because I always do it in a way that is like being in the center of the universe measuring how it has to do with the current topics in the mind allowing a form of communication people do not know they are so happy to help me discover... it really makes a difference in giving someone a more genuine look sometimes too?

I made this song with the prayer for a second chance to help people see change in the horizon along with the very real opportunity always there for a better cleaner tomorrow.

Maybe there is no one in heaven that can hurt Babe Ruth but himself so I am thankful for the placement of a certain skull found in the artwork as it has a prayer for sobriety tied into it on my end... how I have programmed my own subconscious mind..

Grandmother Ruth died in a casino according to my Mother... maybe she drank too much coke one night?

I felt that this episode of Star Trek the Next Generation called 'the Royale' really helped me to face some demons regarding my grandmother's death at the casino.. it also conjured some of the most interesting thoughts about time travel or how ghosts may help another win a game that would no longer be called gambling thanks to always winning?

How messed up would it be if a family member that was a distant relative used another's ghost to increase the chances of winning a bet even if it drove the other person into a heart attack after a very weird experience not quite like dejá vu.

Once, I gambled in a casino while on the way to my car to get some water as I just wanted to get rid of my pocket change so I found a fun slot machine that had a monkey jumping for a banana in a mini-game and had emptied my few coins into the machine and won a bucket then I just brought it to my room once I had my water for my girlfriend who was also a vegan at the time but what does that have to do with anything?! 

Maybe it did more than I could know... what about the name of the place?

Las Vegas? 

Other names in California are fun to add a letter 'd' to so maybe this is something like that?! In this case by adding a letter 't' to Las for becoming Last. The letter 's' represents measuring what enters the body so what would this mean when it is replaced by the letter 't' that represents the act of eating or making love?

Las Vegas, Nevada?!

Welcome to Last Vegan, Nev(er)ada{m}!

We border the lands of Cantada proudly as new-found woken up sober citizens of the country!

Good morning to all of you boys and girls who are also American't citizens by being drug free... Mexican't citizens by staying sober.. Cantada citizens that obey!

The letter 'm' represents pridefully moving out of harms way... isn't using addition lovely!? 

Maybe I have been able to reach humanity far away where we go to sleep in the same way that a lightning bolt strikes through a sort of electric charge found when everyone gathers thought clouds using addition until ZAP!?

Las Vegas becoming Last Vegan is helpful for marketing to gather a group of enthusiastic gamblers hoping to time their luck to win by making a deal with bacteria that is dying in their entrails but found among others in different time periods sharing space and capable of allowing us to synchronize the win that would save what might be able to be aware of which path wins when the fork in the game is found? A sort of sixth sense found that is the real one used when a polar bear catches scent of fish miles away?!

As the entrance to the casino is found... Chief O' Brien gives me the familiar 'certain family look' that he shares with some of my cousins.. I had once wondered if this was an 'Irish pirate' look due to analyzing my memories and where a mathematical pattern was caught linking what might be a genetic familiarity  with birds, coconuts, and pineapple. Ancestors of the chief lost at sea? What happens while we wonder? Anything happening here creating a pirate there?

As a child I had a red beard and my Mom where this comes from had bought me a Lego pirate ship as a child where captain red beard was in charge. Not only does the love for birds come from living with seagulls in family boat homes from my Father's side but also potentially from sailors lost at sea from my Mother's side? The combination of them in me has perhaps made me more cuckoo than the rest? Being American its always hard to tell as she may have English blood in there as well? Welsh, definitely. We have a tendency in America to think of ourselves here as individuals rather than people of certain countries or race after enough generations of living here?

This episode ends where I have cried thinking that they were honoring my dead grandmother when I watched it while "remote viewing" if that is what I should call it?

I do not watch them like they watch me!

I live and work as if everyone trapped in light found in photos or videos are capable of seeing me on the other side as well as know everything going on in my mind by some glimmering rays of knowP.

My last name just happens to be Meade like the name of a certain Fort that was the main headquarters base for a secret government project by the CIA called "Stargate" which would obviously be another word for a television or computer monitor? Portal to the abyss... How about that one? Very cool!

Will future generations be wondering if they were the 'aliens' mentioned in the show where they found the body of the person who died while trapped in the casino? Does the collective thought of humanity matter? Perhaps better documenting things such as our thoughts and dreams as often as possible would be more helpful in letting us know or at least help them to time what they do so that both sides are found in a more beneficial light?

I am responding to your reading this!

Does that give me access to your memory right now because of your act that would be reading?

Mass bent time and we lived once... so pick up your geek nearby or maybe your Greek with some better understanding of gravity for perhaps some fun rolls of the die on the not-nearly-as-bored? Who knows, maybe your vacation could pay for itself with a bonus but for the sake of my grandmother please know when to stop and understand her need for space sometimes for escaping some problems found at home? Although she is dead she had lived once so is eternally alive in the past responding to everyone in the future who comes across this so please be in a good place when you do so to help guide her into something more positive and better. Our heaven may depend on your happiness and good faith while having respect for those who came before you?

Heaven was a place separated by a compass or fallen star fragment stroked enough times in a certain way that eventually it led us closer to the sky showing us the power found in the promise of an afterlife as we know when addition is used everywhere that we will experience riding their minds where they go to sleep for some time after we are dead and no longer have a living breathing body of our own when we die and join gravity.

What brought us here is over a million years old and we have not died yet so the fire found in the human soul may be much more than anyone knew?!

The Statue of Liberty invites the French in to an alternate heaven if they do not prefer what is found in their sky above them as the fire would be lost in the Ocean if they decided to come here or at least it would for Mister Liberty's journey? Where Lady Liberty is most capable of walking from France to England might be a blessed spot historically known for putting the violence behind them? Before you shout out a response about how no such place exists THINK about what you were about to say and why... please.. eventually the fires will all be put out until rekindled!

Just before hitting the 'publish' button my head rang like my sinuses were snapping due to a newfound exchange of minds with everyone who comes across this... helpful for providing dreams the next time that I sleep?

Maybe tomorrow I will have the passwords of a billionaire?

Kidding.

What happens when a person drinks or does drugs?

When a person loses their appetite they may be more likely to align with external bacteria that tries to bring hunger back using the moving planet and our body's heavier weight which might be connecting them with ghosts of other time periods or maybe even animals queued with timing to get everything human off!?  

There are parents of babies that need to know about this now due to sudden death syndrome among other things likely happening from bacteria located East of where the baby or child spends most of his or her time that might be a death sentence for some?!

It is always important to blame ourselves for everything until we find the nonhuman influence trying to ride our flesh from inside of our entrails or outside of it such as the insects or animals queued to escape...

We as human hosts are forced to begin at our destination so whenever we see others we find ourselves and so how could we do something such as hate without this being reflected back upon ourselves?

Babe is the only grandparent that I have left... she means a lot to me and I would love to buy her a phone very soon so that she may follow my work and check out what technology now has to offer!

She will be turning one hundred someday... still in her nineties and looking good! Great news considering how much she told me was smoked in her more youthful years.. she even drinks coffee still and went to a steakhouse with the rest of the family!

Please say a silent prayer for longer lifespan now!

Thank you.

My Father's family was from Minnesota mostly while Mom's side came from mostly Nevada and Florida so I would spend some time in all of those places since I could fly for free standby anywhere in the world almost all of my life?

Through my Dad's mistress Duff McKagan was technically something like a nephew and also lived in San Diego so during Christmas he would possibly come over to our place which was awesome as I was a huge Guns and Roses fan in the second grade. Appetite for Destruction was the very first cassette tape that I actually spent money on and bought from the store with the artwork included!

When Duff married Susan Holmes the model I made them this wedding gift and I find it more than just a funny coincidence that he started his band "Velvet Revolver" while I was known for wearing my signature skin tight laced up leggings decorated with fishnets beneath.

How fun will it be to introduce my extension of Halloween someday to Axle Rose!? It is sad how it was hard for me to stay into them when I was growing up so I would feel the need for change as I did not want to be stuck in the second grade forever. I bought everything of theirs that existed though as far as albums go? There is something about November that is somehow familiar to me... maybe someday I will push a pre-death funeral onto them against their will and all odds? Kidding. This is what the ghosts of others seem to ask of me though so I am not sure how to gather the people to put on the pressure that will be needed for many to have this ceremony that I am making for the future to use.. pretty soon I should have a guide on a YouTube channel showing someone like a priest how to do it following ancient customs.

As a young teenager I had a decision to make regarding where I would live between San Diego, California... or Salt Lake City, Utah!?

My Father had a way with flight attendants... and I had to choose between them regarding the more permanent residence.. he lived with his mistress he was practically married to in California and then there was my Mother that was based out of Utah.

It was like choosing whether or not to have a parent around? Whether or not to have something to do at night time or the weekends? Whether or not I regularly have friends spend the night over at my place on school nights?

The obvious choice was for too many reasons was Salt Lake City! It was actually very sad where some of the comparisons were found regarding California vs Utah?

In California at night time there was an orange juice shop where the cops came at ten o'clock to let everyone know they had to leave... while in Utah it would be a dance club among adults until morning came sometimes thanks to what might be an after party?

I did not really go through 'steps' for becoming 'goth' like others may have done? No... for me, it was a drastically huge change in the blink of an eye! I never heard any complaints about baby bats or whatever?

Luckily, I missed out on being judged as the youngest but there I was and with a fake ID proving that I was actually someone named Jeff who was twenty six years old. In reality some guy wanting to join a circus did the nicest thing in the world for me by putting on my makeup and glasses as well as some practice in the mirror for the perfect pose that looked so much like me that the ID even tricked family members!

After my first night clubbing at Confetti I spent some serious money buying expensive velvet fabric that I sewn into sexy skin tight pants that would be laced up the sides rather than worn with a zipper... immediately, I noticed positive attention coming from females everywhere that I went in my new outfit! I spent hours every day making sure that every inch of me looked irresistible for the touch? Every pair of pants would cost me close to one hundred just for the materials and I made myself around four pair being the only 'goth' kid who would use lip-liner like the gang-banger girls would?

The difference was quite extreme how I was treated by others once those outfits were made... all I had to do was wait behind my bangs for a woman to do what she could to GRAB ME?! That was my style and how I would roll as my friends would make jokes that someone would have to rape me in order to get lucky?

It seemed like everything changed pretty dramatically regarding how much more the opposite sex wanted to possess me somehow?! I never really would understand how others would be attracted to me as I thought that I was ugly. When I started to get into the goth thing I started to actually like the way that I looked for the first time though so I was able to finally understand what a girl could see in me. What used to be love letters, notes, mix tapes, or maybe a phone call... became a woman wanting to HAVE SEX in a way that was dominating me!?

I was so much more shy than others so this worked!

Somehow this absolutely terrified me though since I was popular and I was friends with pretty much everyone as well as the luckiest kid found maybe anywhere in this country because of how the older kids treated me allowing me to date a girl who was eighteen when I was only thirteen!?

My issue was that I did not want anyone to discover that I had absolutely NO real experience in the bed... I was saving my virginity until marriage but the real reason may have been fear!?

Once one person found out something it would spread like a wild fire so I wanted to make sure that I could perform well in bed... honestly, thinking back? I was completely awful in the sack until my thirties at least when I was trained on how to give her an orgasm even when she is trying to resist it so that it ends up being bigger.. sure, I might hook up with a girl that would brag and tell all of the other girls how wonderful I was but in reality I knew that I was still very inexperienced as no woman would be mean enough to me for me to actually learn something.

I guess it goes both ways? When I think about having a better looking person vs someone better at the deed itself?! What would I rather have!?

As a child I was a fan of wrestling such as WWF starting Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant! This was around the time that the Ultimate Warrior was discovered who became my favorite under no one but Brutus the Barbar Beefcake who was always my favorite wrestler since he wore whities without any costume! Later he took on the barber persona for cutting the hair of his opponent. 

Very funny stuff... hey, it's been over twenty years but I wouldn't mind watching the Royal Rumble from 1989 or something like that?

The "goth" pants that I designed and made for myself was attempting to copy cat something that I thought that I saw Brutus the Barbar Beefcake wear!?!

Fishnets, silk, velvet, laced up the sides... soft purple colors.. difficult to keep hands to yourself!

As far as makeup goes I spent a lot more work than other people perfecting designs cut into my hair or painted onto my nails and skin... overall a ridiculous amount of time spent every day on maintaining appearances that never lasted very long because my hair was too thick most of my life so it would never lay the way that I wanted it to until very recently as others my age may be going bald by this time?

Thankful that I shaved my Dad's back sometimes..

My Father's service in the Vietnam War as a marine sure gave me some dark thoughts when catching onto how he may have shared light with others who ended up having bamboo inserted underneath fingernails as a prisoner of war or some horror such as that?!

What appeared to be traps found in the jungle seemed to appear on accident in detailed ink drawings of a detailed forest I made showing every leaf and twig on the path found towards the center as if my subconscious mind was capable of carrying some of it somehow?!

My circle of friends found in the goth scene may have been some of the most attractive people I have ever seen in my life?! Today, I have wondered if rich and powerful stars such as David Bowie targeted us while spying from far away since we would be his target audience? This might explain how David Bowie knew about my Father seemingly but it was also possible that my Mother would party with the gay crowd in other countries while at work as a flight attendant so maybe there is a link somewhere there?

It is extremely obvious to anyone who knows my Dad that the song "I am Afraid of Americans" is about him which would make sense as he might have been the only person to worry about if he were to get closer to some of his most attractive fans found near the major airport hub especially if I was gay and barely of age?

When found in vintage boot camp photos of American troops preparing to serve a tour in Vietnam my Dad would have been noticeably among the largest of them most especially because of his bulk and muscle as he was a boxer before that and all of his life he would choose the tougher macho man option.

During transportation he was known for becoming sort of a monster when behind the wheel of an automobile and may have cause another found on the road to wet the pants somewhere maybe because he always would yell at others, honk the horn impatiently, and drive up close to get a good look at the person as if trying to pick a fight? He moved over forty times and lived in almost all of the states or at least passed through at some point or another?

Because of my family history and all the songs made about us found from various artists most especially in the goth scene it is no surprise that these lyrics fit my Dad exactly. There may have been more secret reasons using certain key roles played in Hollywood as an actor that night go along perfectly with a clever con since he had served in the military. His face was too soft and attractive to look evil in the mind of the director probably? He was in a music video for Megadeth as the monster found in the end carrying the band away on wheels and a coach in the background on Saved by the Bell while he also had replaced the voice of Screech in another episode. He was also a cop in an Unsolved Mysteries segment and a zombie spitting out cottage cheese in a low budget horror film called Demon Wind.

He would send his kids gifts from various stars he worked with or met so we might see something like a pair of brown bell bottoms sworn to be owned by Dave Mustang himself!? An old guitar pick maybe?... Meh.. Obviously nothing he wanted! Old Led Zeppelin shirt from the 70s was pretty cool?

Would this be the reason that Tony Sopranos had a son by the name of AJ which happen to be my initials that is helpful to know most especially when he goes through his goth phase that explains to the audience how this did not make him gay even though he wore makeup or his daughter by the name of Meadow that happens to be what my last name means when it is looked up online?

Jon was one of the only people who survived in his entire platoon as he was able to leave early on a boat right before an ambush wiped almost all of them out! The letter 'p' has the origin that would mean 'sailing' so the name Philippines is special since he planted pine trees everywhere during his adult life as he fixed up homes all across our country. P.hi.lip.pines? Fits maybe a superstition regarding trees and how they may favor saving some people over the others when it comes to veterans? 

Like the song by David Bowie mentions Jon loves chicken while he often would go to the store for another shot at cracking a joke to get another woman's phone number! We were always amazed how good he was at doing this and he would have the phone numbers from women he met at the super market found all over the kitchen counter. 

My Dad typically may be a reminder to everyone around that messing up with something even very minor was capable of killing people like running over a landmine during wartime scattering body parts all over the trees. While living in a bad black neighborhood where we would be the only white folks found sometimes he would take us on a midnight stroll to the store after getting home from work before it closed at 1 a.m. seemingly without any fear and we would walk past gangs of people welding weapons at times.

Growing up he kept a punching bag unlike any other filled with sand instead of typical padding usually found that would take his punches swallowing his arms and rock the entire building when he would give it his right hook until his knuckles bled.

Since he was possibly one of the only people doing something as tough as this in our entire country it seems as though the band Metallica when it came out with their Black Album responded to our living once by releasing the song Enter Sandman as if inspired by this becoming my favorite album when it came out and what it was like to watch my Dad box without gloves shaking the whole house with every blow.

I must have been around the same age as the kid found in this music video when it came out?!

If my Father had a nickname that would demoralize other troops it might be Harry but it was more often Minnesota Meade and was among the first who had actually believed that they were in Vietnam to help the Southern Vietnamese before the drafts came and the paranoia of the citizens grew?

Read his story that he wrote found here entitled Confessions of a Surviving Alien . ..

Harrison Ford is said to have a 'certain look' and for us he looks just like our Father when frightened or making many facial expressions... there is no other actor who looks like him as much as him in this way.. so it would make sense that it mattered in our subconscious minds when such a look was found on someone like Jon!

As you may know from the Raiders of the Lost Ark starring Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones... he hates snakes like I do while his Dad hates rats like mine does!

I also know this actor from the Amish movie 'John Book' . ..

I have also noticed synchronicity regarding my Dad being Darth Vader if he were to get a pacemaker while I am Luke Skywalker so I am trying to wake him up as his son the reasons for choosing a green light saber over the red... choose the forks err force.. he has high blood pressure and looks more like Han Solo anyways but is located in Brained, Minnesota.

Brain ER (+d?) Han(d) Solo hopefully does not go over his heart as an attempt to save him... am I right?

This might be warning me that he needs to have a button carried on him capable of calling for help if he is unable to do anything but use his brain during perhaps a stroke?

Since mass bent time and we lived once such a name may have responded to our being here as well while it is not only possible but proven often in my blogs that our minds connecting outside of regular time allows us to get help from such names found everywhere!

What is good to know about my Dad is that he does avoid conflict and tries to bring things somewhere safer like a boxing match or wrestling for the children like a Tai Chi dancer performing for the kids while they pretend fight...

Funny how I happened to kiss my sister just like Luke in the movie but a bit more sloppy perhaps when caught by our babysitter who saw us touch tongues!

If the Dune story was compared to us than that would make me a rat instead of a desert mouse by the name of Muad'Dib so that the chain of events never happen but would that be able to save my Father who has a missing tooth from the Baron that might represent anchovies on a pizza due to his high blood pressure?

Such hilarious patterns are almost always found when measuring synchronicity using my family...

Blue by Elastica reminds me of Jon... how he is gone and his sense is loaded?

What about Johnny Ray of the 80s that made mothers cry everywhere!?

"Whose Johnny she said and smiled the other way..."

Light and sound traveled much faster than we may know and was always involved in programming us for our next dream while we slept as we had witnessed continuously how everything was somewhat familiar while awake due to sharing something so much faster that we had already connected to the last time that we slept being the reason that everyone always seemed somewhat familiar when we ran into them for the first time no matter who it was or where they were coming from... not only was this true for those we ran into at the store while grocery shopping or for the animals and other critters we came across but it was also very real when it came to making contact with others on the other side of pictures and videos as there was still an exchange of light and sound going on and synchronicity involved for programming us for our next most relaxed and connected state asleep.. 

During the past dozen years or so I may not have watched more than a dozen movies? I have been a lot more interested in writing short stories for a new type of movie that I call A-Rated that focuses on sending the most positive fictional echoes for the viewers and those sharing gravity in their location so that other countries gain more of our respect that we may have lost from our freedom of expression over the years?

My Mother's name was Marilyn and she worked as a flight attendant for over 50 years starting around the time that Marilyn Monroe had died who looked a lot like her so for a very long time people flying into this country on an airplane were welcomed while perhaps feeling a special attraction to that gorgeous actress as the top of Hollywood and my Mom who also had a visible beauty mark on her face.

Like a famous actress Mom had a nose job and a 'transformation' from a normal young lady into a professional grown woman going to work like the men with a salary and flying benefits for free travel anywhere in the world for immediate family.

These are my beautiful parents shown above!

I had gone to the hotel in Hollywood once to see the haunted Marilyn Monroe mirror with my little sister Jenny...

...see the white fluffy dots found on my shoulders?

...does it look like a fuzzy pillow behind me in the photo thanks to those two fluffy dots on my shoulders?

While having a schizophrenic episode Marilyn Monroe seemingly came to me speaking too fast for me to understand often trying to assure me that someone was a good man and that I would like him but I did not know what she was talking about while I had cured myself from getting off of the medication that was not helping that seemingly gave me this attack and focused on meditating while returning to childhood memories that would help me program my brain back to something more normal and feeling less naked.

Often, I have snuggled with that rectangle pillow and the seal as if they were people somehow capable of loving me back and when it is found behind me as if spooning two fluffy dots appear on my shoulders...

This bed was where sometimes voices of famous actresses have come to me while I was sleeping trying to let me know not to worry about the fuzz felt from my pillow being bugs while seemingly helping me with advice for music or film production?

No matter who you are we are related to the same Mother and Father somewhere back in time so are you part of what makes him angry or her cry or are you helpful by spreading the best healing messages using a patient dish in to fix our problems over other dangerous math such as subtracting for what is not human trying to ride our flesh, dividing from not working enough, or going forth to multiply for our ignorance and willingness to focus on enjoyment now?

See the familiar white fluffy puff above my shoulder?

Reminds me of the fluffy white dots above my shoulders like the ones found in the haunted mirror in Hollywood containing Marilyn Monroe's trapped soul!?

She appears to be doing her lips much like I do mine?

Funny how where this picture rested on my closet door she seemingly looks at a picture of me wearing lip-liner with eye shadow instead of lipstick!

Let the truth get us high as every breath is a miracle!

I love the puffy white curls above her shoulders...

The way she looks at me in this picture reminds me of what I was doing right before I came across it for the first time on my computer that included putting together sexy pictures and videos taken of my last girlfriend that I lived with where she wore what looked similar to the same green loose top like above.

I spent many hours or days doing this so there seemed to be a sexy loose green knit sweater top theme everywhere that I went online for some time as if women responded to what they knew I thought looked hot and made such great pictures.

As if they are able to see me from the other side of the photos I will do things such as cover them when doing things such as get dressed or roam around naked...

Please do not be ashamed of your beautiful mind whoever you are and if you find yourself discovering the worst definition of your name in your most naked state being something that lives using light and sound or remembering how you may have tasted dirt in the wrong direction as a baby than simply give yourself enough pride to be saved and move to the other side of the rainbow to find 100+ better definitions while helping others to avoid stepping in the same puddles where you may have errored as a child, teen, young adult, or maybe someone older who wants seven more years for all of their cells to be replaced to shed their skin like a snake and become a new person...

As a child I would make shadow rabbits with my older brother that became hands that barked like dogs as Ruff and Arf that could only say either "ruff" or "arf" depending on which dog was speaking... this seemingly linked to Arf becoming Barf capable of saving the life of someone who swallowed many pills.

I know that she "Luffs" me very much because life can be very "Ruff" without a Daddy around...

"Luffed by me, JUST ME" because there might be a?

I just love how she seemingly responds to me as usual letting me know she is with me by making the "luff" sound in her song heard above... her soul is one of the friendliest.. I love the thoughts she sends me!

The best way to get rid of 'voices' would be to move the teepee and stop thinking where there are obstacles instead of the Sun rising since the planet is moving so use sweet grass for the females and sage for the males until you are cured and it is turned down to a volume that you no longer hear but are healing from simply remembering your dreams or noticing a special timing of what thoughts that enter your head before coming across everything while awake sharing light and sound for your next most relaxed state of mind as there is nothing wrong or need for an answer while remaining in the state of wonder as there is no such thing as right or wrong and true or false as much as it is correct that our thoughts are all incomplete and merely part of a larger puzzle perhaps the size of a whale or giant squid potentially endangering us if we are not able to have more fish farms among other things so that we are not as endangered by the ways they are living below us or sending us to 'go forth and multiply' . ..

The name Monroe has somehow been a reminder for me to try and invest in fish farms in my future for dumping in the ocean...

Advice that I would seemingly get from her by trying not to think while measuring thought that would fill my imagination was a lot more helpful than other people much I did this with like other stars? She practiced a lot so really has that feel not easily found as singers do not typically do the same things or train as hard in the same ways anymore?

Marilyn Monroe sounds similar to Zooey Deschanel who is the singer of She & Him was the only actress close to my age I have been attracted to that I gave a listen for the first time while leaving Minnesota to tour around the country in 2023.

Before I left I was in getting more involved in choosing different scents while working on how to do my Sixteen Scented Celebration. I was changing my scent from watermelon to something else because I want to find a younger partner to marry as watermelon meant having twins and was for mostly a love interest around my age or older since we would want both genders if at all possible?

When I was getting closer to Portland her songs seemingly guided me to pick a flower along the way that I saved to help find me a partner that had something to do with my dating profile in my mind at the time because it said "looking for my ring of daisies" and she had appeared in a post I saw recently with that a circle of flowers on her shoes. This represented rekindling a relationship thanks to everything that happened as I knew she had a partner and I wanted my older brother who was just married to participate so much of what I created was for getting paid in the future maybe for helping other couples so the idea was a new flower found every year so the circle of them would represent rekindling a relationship every year annually which is what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

The word Minnesota sounds like Minnie and soda but in this area it is called pop. While located there I helped a small rodent escape a trap to be released back into the wild that I named Mickey Mouse which inspired me to watch the very first cartoon I could find of that character which happened to be a squirrel that looked a lot like what was caught in the garage that I had let go outside. A snake was brought to that location maybe a month later as I found a vegan use for hard boiled eggs that were thrown timed to get snakes away from the robin eggs with parents that were grateful and asking for this to be done during Easter every year. Keep in mind the importance of letting it be known how there are no babies in the eggs whenever possible like before children go out with their baskets because of how much birds are aware it would help in spooking them less.

Hopefully the memories of this snake encounter helps me where its more than just a garden kind to worry about when it comes to facing them in the future as all life forms with nervous systems seem to have access to our memory from using the speed of light found in the mind... as I would hate to be bitten by one.. especially because of something like the way that I make deals with the birds to help me in the wild find food or something along those lines?

Very spooky since I watched this cartoon as a child whenever my Mom would go to Smith's marketplace I would ask for her to rent "Scary Tales" by Disney so she did this often for us but I never noticed my Dad's name found at 2:30 until very recently... the name Jon is found written on the tombstone in this cartoon.. what is this all about?

How sad that the Vietnam War happened where it may be true that my Father would have possibly died with his platoon from an ambush if he did not leave on a boat after his foxhole partner accidentally shot one of their own during a friendly fire incident as described in his book... what I witness from here wakes me up to nonhuman influences always at work using our brain tissue so one of the weirdest theories might be found in the name of the Philippines where the letter p means sailing and it was taking a boat home early that saved him from being killed with the others so maybe it was all of the pine trees that he planted as a Father where they would otherwise not be found that had some kind of weird effect we were previously unaware of?

Please never carry anything towards the sick direction that might be testing something like "Russian Roulette" or place the hands of the universe into the hands of chaos rather than see that it will become the one we all would want to live in the most!

The God of Chaos is not possible because how could chaos have tears when it comes from asking a question about what happens if something new is true that should be impossible for yet again giving the universe to what cares not for life rather than someone who actually does as we always get a portion of what we expect so why did the scientists give it to nothing but chance often enough to have created what we find that was not planned by us more for what was needed as it should have been perhaps?